


You Can't Escape This Place

by IllegalCerebral



Series: CM Bingo 2019 [8]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Crime Scenes, Dead People, Murder, Murdered Teenager, Post-Prison, Post-Season/Series 12, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Shock, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-08-20 03:35:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20221132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IllegalCerebral/pseuds/IllegalCerebral
Summary: Faces you had been prepared for. Someone once told you that if you did this job long enough you would start to see your loved ones in the faces of the dead. What no one told you was that you would also start to see your home in every crime scene. Not just your apartment either but the house you spent your childhood in and your dorm room and the apartment you shared with some friends straight after college.





	You Can't Escape This Place

Faces you had been prepared for. Someone once told you that if you did this job long enough you would start to see your loved ones in the faces of the dead. What no one told you was that you would also start to see your home in every crime scene. Not just your apartment either but the house you spent your childhood in and your dorm room and the apartment you shared with some friends straight after college.

“You okay Y/N?” Spencer asked softly. The flash of a camera lit up the bedroom, eerie shadows catching in every corner. On the bed a dead girl was lying on your duvet. Her eyes were clouded, mouth open in a silent scream and a tear frozen on her cheek.

“I had that poster on my wall as a kid, that duvet too” you said without thinking. One of the crime scene techs gave you a funny look._ Really? _Your thoughts were thick, like wading through mud. Before you could register what was happening Spencer had taken you by the arm and led you gently outside.

It was early spring, the sun shone weakly through the clouds and there was a dampness in the air. You still gagged though, your throat burning as you emptied the contents of your stomach onto the grass. Thank God the police cordon kept you out of sight of the neighbours.

Spencer held out a bottle, pity lining his face. It was mortifying.

“She reminds you of you when you were a teenager?”

“No” you take a sip, the cool water soothing your throat “No at at all. It’s her room. It’s every room. It seems like whenever I step foot into a crime scene now I’m coming home”

You could tell from the look on Spencer’s face he didn’t understand. The words were out now though, this particular purge was almost therapeutic.

“Then when I get home I see bodies and signs of a struggle and crime scene tape” you closed your eyes, “I check all the doors and windows about ten times. I jump at every sound. It’s the one place I should feel safe but I’m terrified all the time”

“That I do understand,” said Spencer. You wanted to kick yourself for being so stupid. He turned away, gaze firmly fixed to the ground and before an apology could tumble out of your mouth he continued, “I never actually went back to my apartment after my Mom’s abductions. Except for when I went with JJ. After that there was no way I could step through the door”

“I’m sorry. Compared to that…I’m being stupid”

“Y/N that’s not what I mean” Spencer turned back to you, “I mean I know what it feels like to be afraid and to feel vulnerable. You can’t keep feeling that way, it will drive you crazy”

“What did you do?”

“I had to move. I stayed with Rossi for a little bit until I found my own place. But most importantly I spoke to someone”

“I’m speaking to you” You knew that was never going to go down well but it was worth a try.

“Y/N…”

“It’s a stupid thing to get upset about”

“If you’re upset, it isn’t stupid,” Spencer said, firmly, “I’m going to give you the number of someone outside the bureau. She’s really good”

You looked up at the house. The window to the girl’s room was wide open, curtains fluttering outwards like wings. You felt stuck in place. Slowly you turned to Spencer with a nod. He returned the gesture, scratching a phone number onto a scrap of paper and pressing it into your palm.

“I’m going to give you some privacy to make a phone call” he said.

You watched him walk back inside, a sudden urge to stop him overcoming you.

_Don’t! Stay here! It’s not safe._

With a shuddering breath you dialled the number.

**Author's Note:**

> Another CM Bingo entry. This one is for “crime scene’.


End file.
